“The best teamwork comes from men who are working independently towards one goal in unison.”J. C. Penney
Over the weekend, the entire farmhouse (levels 3 and 4) went rowing in Belfast Harbor. If you know anything about rowing, then you may know that it is a sport which relies on the entire crew working together. If one person is off beat it can create chaos.
Something that happened on our boat, Belle Fast, was that the person behind me was not synced up with my rhythm, and our paddles collided several times as a result. This also will happen in the home dynamic. For example, if I were moving at a different wavelength than my siblings or parents, it wouldn’t be surprising for turmoil to follow.
When a collision occurs in rowing, it is usually followed with a grumbling about how the other person is at fault. When push comes to shove, your natural instinct is to deny your part and to project it on the other person. We are currently learning about communication blocks in DBT. DBT stands for dialectical behavioral therapy and is led by our therapist, Nan. Two examples of communication blocks are the use of denial and displacement when talking to one another. In the Ironwood program, home seems far away until it is a couple of days until your home visit. You are preparing to move on with your life and the return home, but you have been doing this for so long that it has become routine It would be unfair for the other family members to fully change what they are doing to coincide with you. You need to find the middle ground. Although it may be hard, it is necessary to do this to make both parties happy. The parallel process is needed so that both the resident and the family can move as a unit in the right direction. Just like in rowing, everyone needs to be working together to reach the goal. If you can trust others in your family to do their best, then you will move powerfully as a unit to your destination.