Ironwood Farm House Blog

What does it mean to be a level three in the Ironwood program?  It’s not about the color of shirt you where or the privileges you gain when you come up to the Farmhouse.  It is about all the hard work you are committing to doing when you are in level three.  It is saying I am ready to take the next step, to engage in really looking at myself and my behaviors.  Figuring out what drives me to do the things I do and why I respond to people in the way I do.  So…here are the level three expectations…

Level three is a time for demonstrating pro-social behaviors.  The level three youth continues to improve their skills in lessening emotional reactivity, and increasing their ability to self-comfort, be independent and not reliant on others to think for them.  Level three should be able to improve their ability to reengage with their family and to increase their emotional intelligence.  The level three youth is able to work more independently in distance learning and Ironwood assignments.  While in level three the student is more aawre than ever that the behaviors they were demonstrating at home negatively impacted their life, and the lives of their love ones.  At this time they are embracing the concepts that Ironwood is giving them to make better decisions for their future.

Spring is here, the sunlight lasts longer, the grass is turning green and Easter is fast approaching.   Lately the students have been working on beautifying the outside landscape after the long winter.  It is great to be outside with the sunshine on our faces. 

Naturally with Spring here there are a few celebrations in order. Pescah was just this last Tuesday where the students learned what, why and how Passover is celebrated in Judiasm.  The students along with staff put together the traditional Passover feast with a presentation from one of our Peer Leaders in the Farmhouse.  Many of the students hadn’t even heard of the celebration so it was very enlightening for them to observe what other people hold sacred.

Today is Friday, Good Friday which brings us to the Christian celebration of Easter.  The students will prepare the traditional Easter meal, ham, potatoes and all the fixings.  What they don’t know is they will even get to hunt some plastic eggs filled with candy, not really part of the Christian tradition but fun none the less.

For some the change in the season is not such a welcome feeling with the near freezing temps, piles of snow, shoveling, layers upon layers of winter clothing, mittens, scarves and cranking up the heat in the house.  For others it represents snuggling in, warm hearty meals, bundling up for crisp walks, and holidays.

We love the holidays at the farmhouse!  As Thanksgiving rapidly approaches we start preparing for not only how much we will need to make everyone  feel gratefully stuffed with the foods of the traditional dinner but the activities of the day.  It is our desire to make it as close to a homestyle Thanksgiving environment as possible.  There may be a table with a group working on a puzzle, a table playing board games and if weather permitting we might even go out to play a game of baseball.  A crisp fall walk may be in order after the turkey slumber that settles on us.  All in all we are very aware that the holidays are nostalgic and a time full of memories.  We are trying to create some of our own while the students are away from their families by sharing the special times they’ve had during in holidays past and appreciation for our loved ones in our lives.

We could not have asked for a better summer.  The weather has been consistently beautiful even through the very short periods of rain that were just enough to rejuvenate the plant live.

The students have been gardening, hiking, swimming at a local lake and a few treats here and there like ice cream on the really hot days.

We’ve had a great garden season and have harvest some of my summer favorites like watermelon and cantaloupe.  The season began really hot from the start which allowed for some great strawberry picking  at a local farm.

Usually in the summer months we try to get quite a few field trips in with the great weather.  We started with a schooner trip in the Castine bay that was very successful meaning there wasn’t anyone that turned a shade of green from sea sickness.  Romeo and Juliet in the Park at Fort Knox was a great experience for all and just prior to that we enjoyed going to the top of the bridge observatory.  While up there you can see as far as the eye will take you.  Many view points were Isleboro, Acadia, Blue Hill and of course Verona Island.  The students really took in how special Maine landscape is with the ocean and woods perspective.

Closer to Ironwood lies Lake St. George State Park; this is a great place for a quick swim and some Ultimate Frisbee action. Usually on Sundays this is the place where students and staff hang out on a hot summer day.  There is so much to do in Maine at this time of year we have just begun.

As of late the residents have been working on the farmhouse vegetable garden.  Residents are learning the value of growing their own food and taking pride in their hard work.  Along with basic nutritional value there is a therapeutic value of working quietly with their hands; being able to have some time to think.  In past times it was out of necessity that people gardened and now it is almost whimsical to garden.  There is something to be said about the days when people worked the farm; it took the whole family to survive. They mended their own clothing, washed with basins and scrub boards, milked the cows, collected the chicken eggs, sheared the sheep and much more.  It was a time when people were so busy surviving that they couldn’t get into so much mischief.

You know what they say… Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.

Life has many choices to be made from such a young age.  Even at wee toddling age  there are still choices being made; whether it be subconsciously or consciously.  Parents are forever correcting and guiding the choices that are being executed. That may at that time be a firm no or maybe even a smack on the hand when the choice is dangerous.  This is what a parent does, identifies the problem, corrects it and it works the child has learned it was not a good choice.

Until that glorious day when the child has learned the beautiful word “why”.  Then begins the questioning and answering stage of the youngster. They now really want to know why they are not allowed to do what it is they want to do. And they definitely want an answer that they feel is satisfying enough to thwart the desire to move forward.  With repetitive “whys” we might even begin to say because I said so. That works for awhile until they become new creatures that we can hardly understand anymore, teenagers.

Again let’s not forget life is about choices.  This is the time when they really want to make their own choices; they want independence to feel like they are their own masters.  So the tug o war begins, the push and pull of parenting and letting go.  Parents start to let them make some decisions on their own. Based on some of the results of those decisions made; the outcome hasn’t been something you’d like to see happen again.  So we continue to correct with restrictions on what they are allowed to do with their freedom of choice.  Sometimes in this arena of push and pull the parents end up making a very difficult choice because their most endeared, loved, treasured, person in their life, their teen  is no longer listening…

If I had to sum up what we do at Ironwood in one sentence it would look like this.  “Ironwood teaches youth to make good choices.”  We begin with the basics such as choosing to listen to the rules and choosing to follow instruction.    Everything we do is geared toward the home environment and how they will begin to re-engage with their parents and family members in a healthy way.

So what choices do they have at Ironwood to make, you might ask…

Speaking specifically to the Farmhouse environment they begin with choices to continue following the rules that they have already grown accustomed to at Frye.  We introduce a different level of trust back, so they have the choice of following the rules even when they aren’t being directly “watched” to see if they are following.  They have responsibilities.  They have choices to meet deadlines of certain articles of reading and writing.  Whether that is letters home, web letter, newsletter articles, ethnic night preparation materials, school assignments,  Book of Virtues group paper, What Happy People know book group papers or simple assignments due to a consequence of some sort.  When the right choices aren’t being made their are two options, one a natural consequence or two a given consequence.  For example if they chose not to finish one of their chores they would receive a consequence of a demerit (one hour work on Sunday, their “free” day) or a consequence given to them by staff which might look like cleaning that are they missed again for the next week on top of their other chores.

So we stay with the theme throughout their time at Ironwood that they have choices to make, they have the freedom to make choices and they have consequences in life to every choice they make.  Which will it be,  the choice is yours…

Out for now,

Kellie-Farmhouse Manager

Over the past year or so (pretty much ever since the music group started) it has become a sort of tradition for the residents to decide together which songs they would like to work on the most to perform for their parents over Parent Weekend. The concept behind the group is to display to the resident’s family the amount of hard work their son or daughter has put into it, while also allowing the resident to get a strong boost of confidence in themselves.

This weekend, the Farmhouse residents have begun to weed out which songs they would like to perform for their parents, and the practice begins! From Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours”, to Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds”, to Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl”, a lot of tough choices are being made of which songs will be the most challenging, yet the most rewarding. The teamwork and cooperation I have seen has been great, and I feel as though I can speak for all the residents when I say that the outcome will be a success.

Thanks for checking in, I’ll catch you all next weekend!

-Lars Prandelli, Musical Coordinator

Looking forward… to better weather, gardening, hiking and picnics.  The students and staff are waiting for better weather to arrive so that we can once again enjoy the beautiful landscape that Maine has to offer.  During the summer months we spend a lot of our time outdoors.  Our summer season is short but we pack it full so not to miss one moment of sunshine.

One of our upcoming projects is our large vegetable garden that yields most of our produce throughout the summer months.  Our growing season here is short so we take full advantage of our 60′x90′ garden filling it full of vegetables, root foods, flowers and summer melons .  It definitely has it’s therapeutic value as well.  While working with the preparation and planting it gives the students some time to be thoughtful and have some solitude.  It’s wonderful to see youth grasp the benefits of growing their own food while also learning the metaphors of life that nature has to offer.

Well I must get back to the business at hand which is Saturday deep clean of the farmhouse,

Kellie- Farmhouse Manager

So needless to say, both the music groups down at Frye and the Farmhouse went very well this Parent Weekend and it seems as though everybody and their families had a great time!!!

The weekend started out very quietly, and the music groups were not held until later on Saturday afternoon. As the both Frye and Farmhouse prepared themselves to play for their parents and fellow peers’ families, it was evident that there was a feeling of anxiety and nervousness in the back of their minds. After they began to play and sing however, any stress or doubt disappeared and each resident gave it their all. Between vocal and guitar harmonies, bongo solos and an orchestra of maracas, the final outcome of the group was great and each and every resident seemed extremely proud of themselves for having performed very well.

The overall result was overwhelming both for the parents and their children, and it was a beautiful thing to witness the joy and happiness that the residents put on their parent’s faces.

The Parent Weekend was great, and I’m sure both parents and residents alike are excited for the next to come.

Stay tuned for further updates on the Music Group and any other activities going on at the Farmhouse.

Thanks

-Lars, Musical Coordinator